Buckle up bitches, cause we took the show on the road!
With our beloved home rink occupied with campers, we needed a fix, any fix. The very same uninformed urge that leads a young teenager to smoke a pretzel rod with aspirations of a cheap, yeasty high…we went slumming to West Suburban (I know it’s called William L. Chase arena now, but it’s forever West Suburban to me). The results…not good.
We sent out texts and e-mails to the public puck contacts we had and I was surprised at the turn out (look at me Ma, I’m networking). Alas, that doesn’t mean the hockey was good. It seems that just like the Wellesley high kids, the Natick kids are afflicted with the don’t pass unless your in trouble disease. It’s a goddamn epidemic. How you cannot enjoy give and go’s and the like, completely eludes me.
Worse than that though was the douchebag that was working the front office. I don’t know who he was, but he was a condescending asshole who liked to lie. In fact, he didn’t even show up until after we were on the ice and it was past noon. He opened the door to the rink and demanded that everyone sign in and pay before we could start. Now understand, I have no problem paying for the ice time, but no one was in the damn office and we were asking around for someone that worked there. All I saw were campers parents and the camp director. When we relayed that information to him, he smugly replied “yeah, we’ll we’re used to having four people on the ice for public hockey, so we didn’t know you were coming”. As if keeping the ice soft as puppy shit wasn’t a good enough reason to avoid this hell hole…
Feels good to rant, yet he really pissed me off. I wanted to challenge him on his blatant lies, but the need to skate out-weighed the combativeness (I’m purposefully omitting other quotes from him). Even if he was off doing whatever but carried himself in a non-dickhead manner it would of been fine. Fuck him, moving on…
Dark: 1/2 Weevey, Tom A. Hawk, Jack, a slew of no pass trodlodytes
White: 1/2 Weevey, Davey, Johnny, Fake Russian, Tinman, a plethora of selfish monkey minions
I know I saw Johnny Too Good, but I don’t think he skated. Maybe his knowledge of our staunch allegiance to the Lubey clan rattled him. You see, he used to come to our skate, but after loud “coaching” about his selfish play, he drifted off to play at Boch. It was there that he maliciously maimed M. Lubey with a high hit after feeling slighted. It was an asshole move and Mike narrowly avoided a serious injury. Fuck him too…go work at Chase.
I don’t know what happened, but it looked like we were gonna be able to play us vs. them. We had our white’s on, yet somehow we had to split up. That led to me and Tom going to an already strong dark squad. Davey was not happy and chirped me by way of hooking and slashing my hands til I changed over.
There was a guy that wore red that was really, really good, but had to make 3-4 moves before he passed the puck. Hey buddy, we can all see your good…play hockey. The best part about him though, was that the Fake Russian broke him up countless times. It usually led to him getting his own turnover, but he broke him up nonetheless!
Johnny had gone back on the ice for something and lost his footing, jamming his left pinky into the on ice door. He ended up dislocating it at what appeared to be the knuckle. Heal up quick Johnny, whatever it takes!
Oh yeah, we had to get dressed in the locker room/storage closet…clean it up Natick! The goddamn condos on my street are going for $900,000, but they can’t keep the ice below figure skating temperature? Maybe then you can actually put the blade down.
If I completely misread the rink worker…