Dark: Davey, Shakey, Weevey, Tinman, Jack, the Maestro, Dan, Fake Russian, Kenny, Vlad, Greeley
White: Nojus, Brown Brian, Blue Line Bob, Tom A. Hawk, M. Lubey, Chip, Asian guy, Birdcage, young kid (so-so), Bearded guy
Goalie(s): Sam (dark), B. Lubey (white)
Three equipment laden figures lurked ominously in the side parking lot of the skating center, eyes shining eagerly as they awaited sanctuary from the rain that had just started to pick up steam. Suddenly the door cracked open. “Excellent, perhaps that shakey fella can prove useful after all” I mused as we made our way into locker room four.
Once inside our dry haven, we shared mirth of our previous exploits. The one they call the Maestro reveled in his skulduggery, for he did not pay what was owed to the lobby man. That lobby man of course, is the renowned Kingy and Kingy is a formidable foe.
There in locker room four we donned our armor before setting out to slay the white demon.
It had been a while since the “Handsome Three” *(as the barmaids had dubbed them) returned to the arena. Long in the tooth, the savvy vets were not going to be denied their victory that day.
Frustration was draped on the white squad much akin to the poncho on a Mexican cucumber peddler. They had plenty of talent, they just couldn’t function well as a team.
Honestly, I felt a little bad. More so, anyone watching from the outside looking in, would of been shocked and awed at the visceral barrage.
- Chip purposely went offsides 2-3 more times. He has it down to a science!
- Vlad had a fantastic, hard clapper post and in on B. Lubey
- BL Bob took a shot from the top of the circle that sent four dark players careening for safety before drilling the crossbar. Well played BL Bob, well played.
- I was wide open on the left wing side and Davey (who suspiciously claims it got away from him) fired a HARD snap shot directly at my head. I had a fleeting moment where I put my hand up to catch it, but quickly changed my mind as Davey has broken one of my fingers before.
- Shakey had an exquisite flip pass. 2v2 entering the offensive zone, Nojus stepped up on Shake n’ Bake to poke check and Shakey flipped it over his shoulder, right onto Dan’s stick.
- I had a great backhand pass through traffic, that the Asian guy one-timed for what I believe was his only goal of the day.
- My skates are legit coming apart. I’m missing four rivets in each tuik per side and the boot is starting to peel away. It’s safe to say I fear for a maiming every skate.
- Beard guy, poor beard guy…he seemed shell shocked at the ferocity and pace of the game.
- The Handsome Three had a dazzling tic tac toe that resulted in me walking in and scoring.
- I yelled a lot at this skate and with booming projection.
- Dan got a good slash on his finger and needed to head up front for repairs.
The Handsome Three, bloodied yet victorious, marched back to locker room four. Tales of today’s triumph will be sung throughout mead halls and etched diligently into the annals of public puck lore.
–Three Stars of the Game–
3) The Handsome Three: The merriest of men, the gayest of the gay…the goddamn, motherfucking Handsome Three. Take a bow gentleman.
2) Vlad and the Fake Russian: Felt real good having a couple of white’s core play for dark. They both played fast and furious and help pave the way during today’s domination.
1) Greeley: Oh Greels, you magnificent bastard…have a day! Greeley already had a hat trick by the time I stopped counting. A shining example of heart winning out over skill.
Honorable Mention: Kingy: At first I had no idea what Shakey was giggling about in the showers (great scene btw), but before I could get too self conscious, I realized that Kingy went into the locker room to bust the Maestro. So long fifth of cheap tequila, you will be missed.
* after some fact checking, the nickname was The Degenerates, not The Handsome Three. Apologies for any confusion…