Friday Recap 5/24/19

Okay class, scooch in a little closer and let’s talk about anger, frustration and how they affect us in the workplace (public hockey).

There’s a plethora of ways to deal with those pesky little emotions that can cloud your on ice judgement and together, I believe we can get through this.  Let’s start with what we know…

Just a sec…let’s get a song going first.

In through the nose, out through the mouth…

Slashing, hooking, tripping, full on body checks, screaming, moping, leaving the ice, extra hustle, spearing, throwing your hands up in the air and wondering “why?”, trying to do it all by yourself, tequila…

There are many transgressions, but the important thing is…let’s try not to maim.  Maiming ain’t cool folks.  It can seem like the right action to do at the time, but let’s leave that to the unhinged of the hockey world.

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Let’s begrudgingly get into it…

–The Line-Ups–

Dark: Davey, Weevey, Tinman, the Maestro, Jack, Ryan (grounds), Dan, Puzzles, Mt. Fuji, Capt. Caveman (Nate’s buddy who had the whole sasquatch vibe going…could use a skating clinic or two), Yotes

White: Brown Brian, NHL Whiner, Fake Russian, Chip, Marley, Firefighter, Garvin, Mongo, Angry Dave,

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M. Looby, #6 (young kid who was pretty good…I’ll expand on him later)

Goalie(s): Paboner, B. Looby

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Oh no, you read those teams right…tough, tough day for Dark.

Paboner had every goddamn right to be screaming at us out there.  My personal favorite “SOMEONE GET OVER THERE AND COVER FOR THE DAMN CAVEMAN!!”  Hence the name Capt. Caveman.

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Game 1: 5-1 White

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Game 2: 5-0 White

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Game 3: 5-0 White

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Game 4: 5-3 White

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Is getting outscored 20-4 good?

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After the skate and in the locker room, Brown Brian said it might’ve been the worst mismatch he’s seen.  Said it reminded him of Rocky vs. Clubber Lang’s 1st fight.  It’s hard to disagree with that.

Now that the BSC’s pool goers have rights to the side locker rooms, The Handsome Three must get dressed with the commoners.  With the play style I have, how am I expected to face my peers afterwards?  Of course I use the term peers loosely here, but the point stands.  Honestly tho, I do like seeing everyone and chatting about the many follies that just transpired.

When I went to shower, Chip and a couple others were in there and it was hard to hide my excitement (I really didn’t mean for that to sound the way it did, but it made me laugh when I read it back to myself).  It stays!

Me: “Chip!”  “A couple of questions for ya.”

Chip: (smiling sheepishly) “Yeah…”

Me: “One, did you miss showering with me?”

Chip: *head slowly shaking side to side* “…”

Me: “Two, do you mind if I use some of your soap?  I left mine in the side showers.”

Chip: “Yes, of course.”

On the ice, sure we battle (he loves slashing me more than a chilled Pinot Grigio on a breezy summer evening) and bark at each other…but off the ice?  I’ll let these monkeys show you what’s up.

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–Notable Moments–

  • So frustrating…
  • Do I need to have a sit down talk with Puzzles?  He creates open ice with his speed and has some nice moves, but he doesn’t see the ice around him.  There are too many times where his passes (if they come at all) are a few seconds too late and to the spot you once were.  He’s a great kid…we just need to meet in the middle somewhere.
  • Was it fun White?  Was it?
  • I was a hollering maniac out there.
  • Dan and I had good chemistry on D, but it wasn’t enough to stymie the onslaught.
  • Yotes had a beauty of a flip to Davey going into the offensive zone.  It landed right in his hand and sent him in on a semi breakaway.
  • Firefighter and Puzzles had a HARD collision…I don’t know who got the worst of it.
  • The Tinman took a heavy fall to the ice with Tim suspiciously skating behind him…(I know you didn’t trip him Tim, geez)
  • In game 4, Ryan (grounds) scored the first two goals for Dark, but it was for naught as White simply toyed with us from there on out.
  • I fed Ryan out front all alone, but he couldn’t seal the deal.  B. Looby made a nice save on him.
  • We needed a GM to even those teams up (still miss you a lot Bobby).
  • BB and I had a couple of hard board battles that were exhausting.  I shoulda changed, but instead put my arms up over my head to help the flow of oxygen.  Coach needed me out there!
  • #6 for White plays a similar style to Puzzles.  I introduced him to my best asset (my ass) as he tried to dance around me with the puck.
  • I drilled Chip with a homerun pass (sorry Chip) as the Tinman was yelling “GET OUT OF THE WAY!”
  • M. Looby was all over my hands.  8(
  • Garvin showed up 25 minutes late and as he was skating to the White bench, Davey said to him “Garvin, you left the door open.”  Davey was just messing with him and as he swung about to look towards the door, he almost collided with a White player and fell to the ice.  The bench erupted with laughter.
  • I haven’t written much about what White did out there…why?  Cause fuck them, that’s why!
  • Okay, but I’m gonna make it quickish.
  • Read about BB below.  Andrew was a skillful, blazing hot menace, skating at mach 3 the whole damn skate.  We almost had a meeting of the bodies, but I think he just toe picked coming turning spinning hard to play the puck and we collapsed onto each other.  The Fake Russian was a bastion of defense and jumping into the offensive play when called for.  Chip…(say something nice Weevey…) Chip played well.  Firefighter, like the Fake Russian, played tough D and mixed in some offense as well.  Tim was all over the ice, giving us no room to make a play.  M. Looby as well.  Garvin tripodded on the blue line and screamed for the puck even when covered.  Mongo, again see below.
  • Oh yeah!  One last story.  Talking with Chip afterwards, he told #6 that if he wants to play White, he has to pass and take short shifts.  If he wanted to play the me, me, me game and stay out on the ice, he needs to bring a Dark jersey.  Thanks Chip!  As if our devolving skill set wasn’t bad enough.  If I have to play with #6 and Puzzles, I simply can’t be held responsible for what I yell! (coach)

–Three Stars of the Day–

3) Paboner/B. Looby: Even though White abused them, the mental fortitude it took to not skate off the ice muttering inane ramblings was admirable.  Dark simply gave up way too many odd man rushes along with breakaways, 2v0’s and 3v0’s.  There were probably a couple of 4v0’s tossed in there as well.

Paboner absolutely robbed Davey on the doorstep with a wide open net.  He sprawled right to left and denied the mulleted attacker with just his paddle.  It was quite impressive!

Loobs had a nasty save going right to left as well, but for his, he snagged a for sure one timer goal with his glove, drawing many ooh’s and ahh’s.  I might’ve screamed as well…I tend to do that.

2) Brown Brian: Brian was all over the ice either facilitating goals with slick passes, or scoring in bunches.  We had no answer and he capitalized on our ineptitude.

1) Mongo: Mongo like beans!

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Along with the gwg in game two, Mongo burned Yotes with an inside outside move that took everyone by surprise.  I heard someone yell “YOU JUST GOT MONGO’D!”  Congrats Mongo, well deserved!

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BB requested this song for our beloved Bruins with game one just around the corner.  Plus, who doesn’t like a good Ram Jam…(game 2 tonight as I didn’t finish in time)

Oh yeah, Friday…

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3 thoughts on “Friday Recap 5/24/19”

  1. I must confess to the tripping transgression on the Tin Man . I , being of unsound mind , tried to fondle the biscuit behind my net and was ingeniously stripped of said vulcanized disc and to try and cover up my insane stupidity did place my wooden paddle of frustration on his leg and pulled . Physics worked to perfection ! I took the Tinny out and Timmy got blamed . We cool now Tim ? And you too Tin Man ?

  2. Ken C. retires

    I was disappointed to learn Kenny C., aka Ken Cussion is retiring from hockey.
    His skull was rattled one too many times.
    He’s an awesome hockey player, smooth as silk with moves like Jagger.
    Super nice guy and always enjoyed playing with him.
    We’ll miss ya Ken.

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